DNF: Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust

A Kindle cover of Girl, Serpent, Thorn, is held up in front of a Good Morning mug and a small pot of yellow flowers.

Alexis:

The goods news: I’m officially done with grad school! I don’t graduate until next week, but I finished classes, my comprehensive exams, and turned in my thesis! I feel like I’ve been in school forever, so it’s a bit strange but exciting at the same time.

The not-so-great news: I had to DNF Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust. It’s been on my TBR for a long time, so I was excited to pick it up. It’s a Persian retelling of Sleeping Beauty, which sounds right up my alley.

This is not a bad book by any means. However, I just don’t think it’s for me.

The pacing was rather slow, which I don’t mind as long as I enjoy the characters. But I got 50% through the book and realized I didn’t care as much about the characters as I should. The writing style also wasn’t my favorite, and I had a hard time visualizing the world and a lot of what was going on. The actual plot was interesting, but I kept having to put this one down, and I decided it was best to DNF.

Maybe I’ll try picking up a physical copy sometime, and see if that helps move things along!

Real Talk & a Half-Review: The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow

Alexis:

Do you think DNFing is talked about enough in the book/literary world? Or do you think it’s perceived as being too negative a topic?

I don’t DNF books often. I only do if I A) really can’t stand the writing style/topic or B) if I lose interest in the story. But I always strive to be as honest as I can when it comes to my reviews. When I read a book, I can’t ignore the fact that I have a creative writing background, so things that some readers can get over/don’t think are a big deal, I often can’t ignore.

All that being said, since I really enjoyed The Ten Thousand Doors of January, I was looking forward to reading Harrow’s new book.

Unfortunately, finishing this book just feels like a chore. I got halfway through, and I found myself not caring about what happens to the main characters.

The Once and Future Witches follows three estranged sisters in the 1890s in a city called New Salem, the City Without Sin, after the original Salem burned down. The sisters join the suffragette movement and attempt to bring back the lost magic of witches. 

While I admire that this book focuses on sisterhood, magic and fairy tales, and the advancement of women, I was never sucked into the story. Despite all three sisters having interesting backstories, they don’t feel well-rounded on the page, and for some reason, I only found myself caring a little about Beatrice/Bella’s character, but not enough about the others to continue reading. 

I don’t mind a slower pace in books; in fact, The Ten Thousand Doors of January has a fairly slow pace. But The Once and Future Witches feels insufferably slow to me. While I love Harrow’s imagery, the writing in this book feels repetitive. The plot seems to move in circles rather than in a line. And important information was revealed later rather than earlier. 

This is a historical fantasy book, set in the 1890’s, as I mentioned previously. But the book is in present tense, despite the beginning being in past tense…? The present tense just doesn’t fit, and I think it was a strange choice. 

And finally, there are some uncomfortable moments for me when it comes to race. Obviously, in 1890’s America, race was a huge issue. I know that “colored” was the term used back then, so why do I feel uncomfortable reading it every time? Maybe because this is a historical fantasy book, which automatically means it’s set in an alternative timeline/alternate history (like New Salem).

Juniper, one of the sisters, curses like a sailor, which again, doesn’t seem to fit in the story. But I’m sure women cursed in the past, right? Oh, definitely. But I know for a fact that “hot damn” was not around during that time period. Most of the curses she spews sound extremely modern, and it takes me out of the story. So if Juniper can swear in a modern way, why couldn’t “colored women” simply be changed to black women? And the fact that Harrow described a Sioux woman as a “clay-colored woman” only made me feel even more uncomfortable. One of the sisters, Beatrice, is heavily involved with a character named Cleo, a black woman, and clearly she is all for equality, but it still doesn’t erase the smaller, uncomfortable details. 

Have you read this one? Do you agree or disagree with me? Maybe other readers will have a different experience; books are up for interpretation, after all.

Review: Jade City by Fonda Lee

Alexis:

Jade City was unlike any book I’ve ever read; however, it wasn’t really for me. I honestly considered DNFing it 50 pages in, but I’m glad I stuck with it!

Jade City is described as a high fantasy, and that’s not entirely true. Sure, the world is a fantasy world, based on Japan, but the use of jade, which grants the Kekonese people superhero-like powers, is really the only fantasy element. The rest of the book has a gritty, almost noir feel. The best way to describe this book is The Godfather mixed with martial arts movies.

The writing style is cool, almost business-like, but it flows well. The worldbuilding is intense, and this book as a whole is very dense, so much so that it sometimes felt like a chore to read it. That being said, I did really enjoy certain parts of this book, and Lee is clearly a master worldbuilder. 

My main critique is that I never became super invested in the characters. I enjoyed reading Shae and Anden’s perspectives the most, yet they never really shone on the page. The third person POV was too distant, and it didn’t help that each chapter was from the perspective of a new character, and there were a myriad of characters in this book. 

If you’re specifically looking for a book that’s majority fueding mobsters, with a small dash of fantasy and political intrigue, then go for it. But unfortunately, it wasn’t my kind of read.

VERDICT: ⭐⭐.5 /5

DNF: Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi

Alexis: Happy World Book Day, everyone! Unfortunately, I think I jinxed myself, because I had to DNF Gingerbread.

The first couple of pages were wonderful. I loved the descriptions of the gingerbread, and Oyeyemi’s imagery and writing is fresh and lyrical.

Unfortunately, even though I love magical realism, Gingerbread is just too abstract. This book doesn’t have a clear plot, which I know is on purpose, but it’s just too atmospheric and all over the place for me. I wasn’t super invested in the characters, and talking dolls never fail to creep me out, even if they’re not supposed to be creepy! The real story begins around page 50, but by 10 pages into it, I didn’t have the energy to continue reading.

I hesitate to give this book too bad of a rating, though. Oyeyemi is clearly a talented writer, and this is a niche book that I can see certain people loving.

VERDICT:

Plot and style: 1 star

Characters: 2 stars

Writing and voice: 5 stars

DNF: Milkman by Anna Burns

Anna: I’m DNFing Milkman by Anna Burns. I read 100 pages and I just can’t keep going. I’m finding the writing too lofty. I don’t like how the characters are just called “sister in law” and “maybe boyfriend” seemingly for the sake of sounding literary. And I’m getting slogged down by all the detail. Maybe I would keep reading if I were in a different mood, but I need something more straightforward right now.

I would love to hear your thoughts on Milkman!

Review: Caraval by Stephanie Garber

Alexis: Read 3/2/19

Unfortunately, I found Caraval so much worse than The Night Circus. I know a lot of comparisons have been drawn between the two books, so I thought I would give you my own.

The Night Circus is beautifully written, with lush and lyrical descriptions, but is very slow moving and has a sparse plot. I can’t say the same thing about Caraval’s writing. It felt middle-grade (and not in a creative way) and cliché. However, it is fast-paced and there is a layered plot. Both books have insta-love, though I have to say the relationship in Caraval actually felt more convincing.

So let’s delve more into Garber’s writing. Throughout the book, she relies on one particular, peculiar type of metaphor: the insert color was insert emotion. Here’s an example: “…a blaze of shimmery gold, the color of magic and wishes and promises of things to come” (14). Here’s another: “A ruby welt bloomed across his cheek. The color of rage and punishment” (45). Here’s a third: “…a rich cerise—the color of seduction and secrets” (660).

I usually love repetition, whether in motifs, anaphora, etc. But the repetition of these metaphors drove me crazy. They’re cliché and terrible and made me say “really??” out loud too many times. And none of them even made sense!

Another thing that drove me crazy was that half of the plot was predictable. You know from the beginning that Scarlett is going to get together with Julian. There was only one plot point towards the end that I didn’t see coming.

As for the characters, I only liked Julian, but only because he’s the only character with somewhat of an interesting personality. He’s your classic “dark and handsome but is he good or bad?” type of guy with Edward-Twilight caramel eyes: “light brown, the color of caramel and liquid amber lust” (172). The descriptions of him were super cringey.

I found Scarlett to be too whiny and annoying, and Donatella wasn’t much better. Even their names seemed to get in the way of the story; it was as if their names drew too much attention from it. It doesn’t help that Scarlett’s name is also a color, so her name is thrown around with all of the cringey color metaphors. One of the characters even says of Scarlett, “You’re so dramatic, you would’ve made a fantastic performer” (308). And god, was he right.

The dialogue doesn’t have any subtext. I absolutely hated that Governor Dragna is described as dragon-like. And I could’ve cared less about the plot of this book.

I think the one word that sums up this book is cringeworthy. I really wanted to like it, I enjoyed how the book opened up with letters, and I initially though Garber’s worldbuilding was good (in the first 10 pages). But this obviously wasn’t the book for me.

VERDICT: 1 and ½ out of 5 books

Review: Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

Alexis: DNFed 11/25/18

Okay, so I rarely DNF a book. But I just couldn’t finish this. I was so disappointed because I love Pride & Prejudice retellings!

I only got about 45 pages in, then I skipped to the ending, and then I skimmed the middle.

To start, the writing style is just weird. It feels too flowery, too forced, like the author was trying too hard to sound like Jane Austen.

This is supposed to be a modern retelling. Instead, it ends up being a modern yet sleazy retelling. The story features a TV show that’s basically The Bachelor. There’s a lot of tasteless sex, and Lizzy and Darcy even have hate sex. Lizzy and her sisters joke about how they think Mary is gay so often that it makes me uncomfortable. A lot of other additions are completely unneccesary. 

Instead of being loveable and annoying, Mrs. Bennet is rude and annoying. She also seems to be prejudiced (ha) and she hates everybody. There’s a line where she says, “Liz…life can be very hard for mulatto children.” Yikes.

Check out this other line: “From his first sighting of Jane, Chip’s face crumpled; and the sequent gush from his eyes would surely have been sufficient to bathe a medium-sized dog: a corgi, perhaps, or a border collie.” What?

The beginning wasn’t good, there were four different—equally bad—endings, and everything I skimmed in the middle wasn’t good, either. This book definitely wasn’t for me.

VERDICT: 1 out of 5 books